Rumors of a recess move quickly through the slick marble corridors of Idaho’s Capitol building. The secretarial communication channels move the information efficiently as they process legislation and coordinate cookie swaps. It feels the same as last year, when this weekend everything was shutting down and we were all preparing to go home. I hurriedly throw away the dirty plastic wear and mostly empty peanut butter jar in my desk, pack up my books and clear my search history. It felt like a year ago, when everything was shutting down- that same breathless excitement that comes from the unexpended freedom of knowing you have no idea what comes next. It felt like last year but it wasn’t.
We knew we would come back into session in two weeks, after everyone had a chance to go take the COVID they got at the Capitol Building back to their rural communities. A year ago when I left the newly opened Karaoke bar I did not know when we would be going back and I never did; it closed within the year. When I left Liquid Laughs, the comedy club, after closing out the last Saturday night late show, I wasn’t sure when I would tell jokes from the stage again and a year later, I haven’t. The comedy club is now a pool hall and I hear its doing well. I didn’t know where my income would be coming from- unemployment ended up panning out well thanks to the CARES ACT but it was never a sure thing and at one point I even had to go to court (on the phone) to defend my claim. This time, we were told we would be paid administrative leave, that if we got another job that was fine- just let them know, otherwise we would be brought back in two weeks. It felt like last year but only the unexpected excitement of time and space to rest and write.
I wrote nearly everyday from mid-March through mid-May and even a little into June. Daily writing turned into the publication of an opinion article in May and a Story Story in June. It was practice and commitment that lead to two things of value with community encouragement. Now I sit here- I am writing, I am! But its different. I don’t have the same delusions. I guess, that everything is gonna be like this or that. I know that if I am lucky I can find a job that pays my bills and gives me time to write and adventure and that all this is in service to softening and loving a little more. Just write everyday, stay on the path. Make your bills, love who is around you, have fun, be responsible with your money- let life take you. Its all gonna be ok. Its not like last year. The world is not collapsing all over again.